To be honest, I’ve been wrecked by the study of the Orthodox church. Everywhere I go, every message I hear, every worship service I go to is coming under the scrutiny of my learning. There are many places that I’ve been taken that are hitting home in my mind and heart. The ideas on the Church being the avenue for revelation and living in Christ. The, in one sense, downplay of the Bible’s "sola scriptura" role in my life. This in correlation with the simple fact that godly people that I love who have lived much life, who are using Scripture and the Holy Spirit, are not agreeing on some things. The thought that Christ cannot be divided, yet he so obviously is in the Protestant church. All of this is pulling at me like a strong current. At times, I am letting myself flow with that stream and at others I am holding on to something. The question is, "Is what I’m holding on to true and worth the cost of holding on?"
 
Carlton asks at the end of one of the last chapters, "What is keeping you from Her (the Orthodox Church) loving embrace?" I answered, "I’ve seen lives transformed during my time as a Christian. I’ve felt God’s blessing as pastors from many churches gathered with one heart. And most of all, I feel the freedom, hope, joy, and love of God as His child. Answered prayer. Peace beyond reason. Has it all been made up? Is none of it real? It’s for these reasons that I hold back from plunging into the river of Orthodoxy. Right now, I feel like I’m plucking fruit off the tree of orthodoxy and trying to plant them into my life and perhaps, into the ministry God has given me. The fear is like that of know people who pick and choose from the Bible what they want to believe about God and leaving the rest. Hopefully that fear will be a healthy one that drives me to learn more, seek God more, and find His peace, not by hushing his voice, but by yielding fully to wherever he leads, Orthodox or not.

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